I loved this sooo much!!! Also in an open marriage, we’ve had threesomes but no one has ever slept over and tbh I dont think i could stomach waking up to the scene you did, you did so well!!! And you inspired me with this thank you 🥰🥰🥰
Thanks so much for sharing!! Yes, I totally feel you, it was a moment where I felt like things had ‘gone too far’, but it turned out really well. Sleepovers are not a regular occurrence for us but when we all feel comfortable, and logistics work out, we are open to it. 😁
I loved this and felt every emotion as I read it. I have also felt that compression/jealousy tilt from time to time around things that I find more "intimate" than sex. Can I ask, is this still something that is felt in a scenario like that? Or has it evolved over time?
It means so much to hear that my writing connected to you in this way, thank you for sharing with me. Yes, for me, jealousy and envy has also mostly lived in the ‘in between’ moments that are not necessarily sexual, but feel more ‘relationshippy’ ? Ah, it’s all interesting, and I enjoy thinking about why certain things make me wobbly while other things don’t.
And yes, we do have sleepovers from time to time, but not often, due to family life and logistics. I have become far more comfortable and compersive with sleepovers over the years, and I also think that is for a number of reasons, stability and security from years of navigating non-monogamy, and also building metamour relationships and friendships. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. The concept of my husband and a lover being in our bed has been a fantasy of mine although the myriad of potential emotions does give me pause. There is something connecting about seeing a lover in their natural sleeping state and not in the dressed up all focused on play that’s our normal.
Great piece, thank you for articulating so well the seemingly opposing emotions that can leave us in non-monogamous relationships so confused (I really resonated with your "What is wrong with me" comment)! It can sometimes be easy to be convinced (often by well-meaning monogamous friends) that if you're feeling jealous, confused, disappointed, angry even, that the relationship structure isn't working. But we know that these are all normal emotions in any relationship. Emotions are not always a sign of a problem or a weakness; they are an opportunity for conversation and deeper knowing of ourselves and our partner(s). Kudos to you and Liam for continuously challenging yourselves, having tough conversations, and modeling positive and realistic relationship dynamics in non-monogamy.
Beautifully written piece. Very interesting how compersion and jealousy can battle each other and even coexist at the same time. I guess it’s a spectrum. It’s helpful to read how others struggle with it, manage it, continue to work at it. Important that we all embrace community and learn from each other.
This was a wonderful piece. I am so glad to see such thoughtful writings about the complex nature of being poly. Thank you!
Thanks so much John!! It really is complex and interesting. 😁
I'm curious, are you still friends with this person? Sure hope so. Again, thanks for this beautiful and thoughtful post.
We are !!! Although she is a New Yorker and we are back home in Australia now. ❤️
How lovely! I am so moved by you and Liam's dedication to poly and other non-traditional living arrangements
I deeply appreciate how you bare yourself unabashedly. It is touching and powerful.
Thank for reading !! 🙏🏼
I loved this sooo much!!! Also in an open marriage, we’ve had threesomes but no one has ever slept over and tbh I dont think i could stomach waking up to the scene you did, you did so well!!! And you inspired me with this thank you 🥰🥰🥰
Thanks so much for sharing!! Yes, I totally feel you, it was a moment where I felt like things had ‘gone too far’, but it turned out really well. Sleepovers are not a regular occurrence for us but when we all feel comfortable, and logistics work out, we are open to it. 😁
Thank you for this piece Abbey, it's gorgeously written, and encapsulates the emotional swing so well!
Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed reflecting and writing this piece.
I loved this and felt every emotion as I read it. I have also felt that compression/jealousy tilt from time to time around things that I find more "intimate" than sex. Can I ask, is this still something that is felt in a scenario like that? Or has it evolved over time?
It means so much to hear that my writing connected to you in this way, thank you for sharing with me. Yes, for me, jealousy and envy has also mostly lived in the ‘in between’ moments that are not necessarily sexual, but feel more ‘relationshippy’ ? Ah, it’s all interesting, and I enjoy thinking about why certain things make me wobbly while other things don’t.
And yes, we do have sleepovers from time to time, but not often, due to family life and logistics. I have become far more comfortable and compersive with sleepovers over the years, and I also think that is for a number of reasons, stability and security from years of navigating non-monogamy, and also building metamour relationships and friendships. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. The concept of my husband and a lover being in our bed has been a fantasy of mine although the myriad of potential emotions does give me pause. There is something connecting about seeing a lover in their natural sleeping state and not in the dressed up all focused on play that’s our normal.
Great piece, thank you for articulating so well the seemingly opposing emotions that can leave us in non-monogamous relationships so confused (I really resonated with your "What is wrong with me" comment)! It can sometimes be easy to be convinced (often by well-meaning monogamous friends) that if you're feeling jealous, confused, disappointed, angry even, that the relationship structure isn't working. But we know that these are all normal emotions in any relationship. Emotions are not always a sign of a problem or a weakness; they are an opportunity for conversation and deeper knowing of ourselves and our partner(s). Kudos to you and Liam for continuously challenging yourselves, having tough conversations, and modeling positive and realistic relationship dynamics in non-monogamy.
Beautifully written piece. Very interesting how compersion and jealousy can battle each other and even coexist at the same time. I guess it’s a spectrum. It’s helpful to read how others struggle with it, manage it, continue to work at it. Important that we all embrace community and learn from each other.
Beautifully written, and I can imagine the range of emotions involved 💜
Thanks Karen 🙏