Under The Influence
Alcohol and Dating
I have not had any alcohol for over a year and a half. The difference to my life and relationships has been significant. My experience of non-monogamy has shifted with a sharper focus on intentionality.
Being in the world without alcohol has been liberating. I am motivated to exercise. My thoughts are sharper. My anxiety has significantly lifted. My confidence has soared. My only regret with not drinking is that I wish I had turned my back on alcohol sooner.
There has not been a single moment where I wished that I still drank, and I am fortunate that alcohol does not call my name. If anything, there is a freedom from not drinking that floods me with genuine relief. I have forgotten how many times I have said to Liam, “I am so glad that I don’t drink anymore”.
I don’t have to worry about oversharing, talking over people, or being accidentally insensitive. Everything that I say is said with intention. I know when it is time to shut up, which is an awareness that alcohol often robbed me of.
In saying all of this, two nights ago I was unexpectedly confronted by feelings of discomfort, or perhaps envy over Liam being out on a date. Not because the two of them were going to be kissing, talking and spending the night together, but because they were out for dinner... and for alcoholic drinks.