The Idea of You

Building A World

“There is no way that all of the unhappily married monogamous mums are watching this and not getting turned on like crazy”, said Liam as we watched The Idea Of You. Liam’s running commentary throughout the film had me giggling. He cringed at the cheese of it all, and mixed in a vocal attraction for Anne Hathaway.

As I watched, I couldn’t help but notice some similarities and parallels to my own life. But instead of it being the common story of divorce, my life story reads differently. 

The parallels are many. I have been the woman who has sat on a plane and flown to another city to be in the arms of my lover for 24 hours. I am the woman who has had passionate secrets from many of the people in my life whilst also wholeheartedly showing up as mother, wife and friend to my loved ones. And like Solene (the movies protagonist), I have been the woman who has been called ‘a slut’ and ‘a terrible mother’ by thousands of people on the internet. It is true that society can take issue with women, mothers in particular for having their own sexual expression. The thought of a mother having sexual relations with someone who isn’t the parent of her child can send people into a moral panic. 

A few days after I watched the movie, a man who I have recently started seeing sent me a message telling me that he had also watched The Idea of You.

“Liam said there are similarities in the story to you and I”.

This man replied that this is something that he had considered too…