My Lover Comes To Stay
"Will you be staying with ‘E’ next weekend?" Liam asked me.
"I think so. I'm feeling excited about it. I feel comfortable with him," I replied, smiling shyly.
"Babe, look at you! Wanting to have a sleepover?! It's been years since you've had an overnight with someone. You must really like him."
A week later, I walked hand in hand with my lover through the cold Canberra night to the restaurant for dinner. He had driven to Canberra to see me, and it felt surreal to have him in my hometown. As we walked from his Airbnb to the restaurant, it felt like my worlds were colliding. Our previous dates had been in his world in Sydney, and as we walked side by side to dinner, I noticed the difference in how public this date felt for me. There was an anonymity in Sydney that being in Canberra wouldn't allow me to hide behind.
As he shared stories with me about his family and upbringing, I briefly wondered if we might bump into someone I knew and how I might introduce him if we did. Would I make mention that he is a ‘friend of mine and Liam's’ so that whoever it was would know that Liam is still at the forefront of my consciousness? Would being referred to as ‘a friend’ offend him? He was so much more than a friend, but I didn't quite have the words yet that fit our connection. The wording around what we were seemed irrelevant.
As we waited in line at the restaurant, I interrupted his words to kiss him slowly. His huge smile had become irresistible, and I needed to feel his lips right then and there. Not in the privacy of his Airbnb where we had just been for three hours, but in this very public place in Canberra on a Friday night. There was no hiding. There was no need to curb my behavior to step around perceived discomfort or judgments of anyone I might know. I wasn't doing anything wrong. He wasn't doing anything wrong. Nobody was being deceived. In fact, Liam was at home, bursting with excitement for this date that I was currently on.
But from the outside looking in, I can see how it could have looked like I was having an incredibly public affair.
We sat side by side on a bench seat by the window, facing each other with our legs interlocked, just as we had done on our first date months earlier. However, this time we were comfortably kissing and giggling like lovers. We spoke of our recent adventures. I shared stories of Liam, and he told me about his other lovers. I liked hearing about them, imagining what they might look like and wondering if he looked at them in the same way he looked at me. Little sparks of envy flew through my body at the reality that they would be able to see him more often than I could. Feeling envious signaled to me that I really liked him a lot.
We kissed some more, never ready to place our order each time the waiter came by. I wondered if the waiter noticed that I was with a man who wasn't my husband. The thought sparked my curiosity as I have always been interested in how relationship dynamics land on people. "Confusing the waiter" is a fun game that many non-monogamous people indulge in, myself included.
After more story sharing, hand-holding, and laughter, we realized that someone had approached us.