George And Amelia Pt. 2
This is a continuation of the previous article that you can read at the link below…
Perhaps diving into a fantasy about George would not be wasted energy after all. Maybe allowing myself to do so would be another way of giving our connection energy? Could it be possible that imagining myself with George might not be me looking away from my marriage, but more deeply into it, and the specific ways eroticism and desire could potentially present itself to us?
We were now both silent, as we looked at one another. Liam was with me. But he was also deep within his own imagination.
My understanding of how a committed, loving relationship “should be” was being tested by the contradiction of these new feelings stirring between us. While I didn’t have answers as to what any of it meant, I knew things weren’t as I’d previously perceived them. Later that evening, as Liam soaped my body in the shower after we had sex, I told him how different intimacy felt with this wild disclosure.
“That was incredibly sexy. Hard to describe, almost.” Liam nodded in agreement, then asked me to share more about my experience. “I can’t deny that imagining myself as a woman with the freedom to be with other men is deeply liberating. My mind and body felt so alive.”
Liam leaned down to kiss me. “I know it did. I could feel that in you, your heightened arousal. You are so sexy, Abbey. Watching you in such a state of pleasure is the biggest turn-on for me. But that’s only when you genuinely want it, and are genuinely in pleasure. This couldn’t be to please me, for your sake, or mine. The fantasy needs to be genuinely wanted for it to be hot.”
I hugged him closely, feeling protected and loved, before my mind flipped to the other side of the coin. Did this mean Liam would want to be with other women?
Summer arrived, and the city pulsed with energy and connection. Liam and I spent many evenings at Rockwood Music Hall, drinking margaritas with our new friends, most of them other musicians he’d started playing gigs with. Liam was often away on Saturday nights or entire weekends performing, so I made myself available to work longer hours at the hotel where I’d been promoted to waitress. Being a fast mover, talker, and walker, I was far more suited to the restaurant floor, taking orders and looking after customers, many of whom I came to know if they were staying at the hotel for an extended period.
“I know he is in your section, but please can I take his order?” Amelia nudged at me as we quickly emptied plates in the kitchen before heading out to the floor again. I had quickly grown to admire her confidence.
“Again? You did this last week when he came in. Who is he again?”
“I already told you! He’s a famous football player. Incredibly rich. Girl, apparently he met his last girlfriend at a bar where she worked, so I think my chances are pretty good.” We both hid our laughter as we stepped back onto the restaurant floor. I glanced over to the footballer’s table and saw him looking at me before smiling at Amelia as she approached. He must have known we were talking about him. The power that comes from money, success, and fame, while being a magnet for women, surely also carries a heavy burden.
Amelia was incredibly sexy. Her long, dark hair flowed to her waist, even when tied back in a ponytail for work. The curves of her body were accentuated by the sway of her hips as she moved around the restaurant, catching the eyes of customers. I wasn’t sure if my hips swayed, but if they did, I hoped they looked like hers. She was Puerto Rican, Catholic, and grew up in the Bronx. She was also breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly kind.
She took me under her wing at work, answering my questions and guiding me on which managers were helpful and which were not. She lived with her mum and son in a duplex apartment uptown and was my age, which I found interesting, especially since she was a mother. I didn’t feel ready for motherhood, and though I wanted to be a mother one day, it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind. Liam and I were still enjoying our freedoms: late nights, sleeping in, and the ability to go out for dinner at 10 PM on a Monday if we felt hungry. We only had to look after ourselves and each other. Even though our lives were different, I found Amelia intriguing. Despite being a mother, she also exuded a sense of freedom.
Since Jerry’s mistake, Liam and I had thrown ourselves into the exploration of hypothetical fantasies. We felt safe to indulge in them, protected by the absence of reality, and the presence of unbridled eroticism. On the streets of New York we were able to find eroticism in any moment, as I felt the city unlocking a sexual curiosity in me that I had never fully explored. Liam and I had never been closer, as we confessed our inner fantasies.
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Can you imagine me kissing her?
Liam read the words I’d typed into my phone notes app, as I gestured towards the stylish brunette in corporate attire across from us on the subway. Liam didn’t look up at her, knowing exactly who I was referring to. I can. Tell me more. Tell me what you want. He placed his leg tenderly on my thigh as he leaned in and kissed my neck.