Desperate Housewives
Where Are They?
I closed our apartment door and stepped out into the corridor, realising that I hadn’t felt nervous until that point. The dance of getting ready whilst tending to our baby, nursing him at the very last moment before I left so that I had as much time as possible.
He never wanted a bottle, and I was privately happy that this was the case. Days and nights spent feeding him on the couch were to be treasured. The first six months of motherhood had flown by, and it felt like the right time to go out on a date with someone else. I wasn’t sure how I might feel, or if I felt ‘ready’ to date outside of my marriage at this point in time, but I felt open, curious and excited by the thought.
As I caught my foggy reflection in the elevator, I heard Liam’s words in my mind. “You look beautiful. Have fun. Everything will be ok and I’ll call you if you need to come back. You are only going to the bar downstairs… Bub will be fine.”
I exhaled relief and breathed in gratitude for the love of my husband and for the relationship that we were cultivating together.
Before we were open and before I had any understanding of what non-monogamy could actually be like, I had a story in my mind of sex-obsessed couples who were turning their backs on one another, in denial of the reality that their relationship might already be dead in the water. The concept of ‘open relationship’ seemed to me like a way for lazy couples to “keep on keeping on”, without having to put in the hard yards to actually make the relationship work, or break up.
Non-monogamy seemed like no man’s land with the inevitable disconnect looming. With an inescapable breakup around the corner, open relating was surely a justification for creating relational distance. How could open couples be soulmates and be in love when they could not even commit to one another?
As the brisk air hit my cheeks I imagined the touch of Stefan, his caress on my cheek. Meandering down to the bar at the end of our street, I fantasised about his hand finding it’s way to my thigh underneath the table amidst the loud bar.
Excitement continued to build in my body as my mind raced for what was to come…