Dating Me May Trigger You

The Sleepover

I have always had a solid radar for recognising when a connection might ultimately be incompatible. Although, I would be lying if I said that I have always listened to that radar. No matter how ‘experienced’ we are in love and relationships, once the new relationship energy (NRE) drops, red flags can become beige as we manipulate our perspectives to see what we want to see.

As we confidently begin writing the story of what a new relationship could look like, our hopes of what a relationship could be, can disguise how it actually is. This can happen in any style of relationship. My husband helps to keep me in the real world as my rose-coloured glasses cloud me. His intuition and read on people is unparalleled, and so his opinion on potential partners of mine carries a lot of importance and weight. 

Sometimes it is as simple as him picking up on how playful or not someone is. Sometimes it can be him picking up on potential insecurities that lay simmering under someone’s social facade. 

And so it came as such a disappointment when he flagged significant incompatibilities between a lover of mine right at a time when I was way in over my head and consumed by new relationship energy.

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My new lover was coming to stay the night while my husband went away for the night with our son.

I was excited to have him come to our home. To make him dinner. To show him the space where I spend my time with my family. To make him a meal in my kitchen. To do the sweet things that new lovers do when they are sharing their worlds with one another. 

As Liam and I excitedly cleaned the house in preparation for my long-awaited overnight home date, I received a message from my lover.