In this episode of the Evolving Love podcast, we dive into one of the most common accusations aimed at non-monogamous people: are we actually narcissists? We unpack the way the word “narcissist” gets thrown around online and in relationship culture, and explore whether non-monogamy is genuinely selfish or whether it can actually require deeper empathy, accountability and communication. Along the way, we reflect on our own experiences with validation, jealousy, manipulation, admiration, social media culture and the messy reality of being human.
We talk about the difference between healthy admiration and narcissistic validation, why modern social media increasingly rewards performative vulnerability, and whether non-monogamy exposes narcissism more clearly… or simply gets blamed for dynamics that exist everywhere.
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Selena, on all fours, slowly guided her head to look over her shoulder at me. She was at ease on my bed, a bed she had fallen into many nights after we had been out dancing together. The year was 2010, a time before we were mothers, when we could stay up late and sleep in, continuing to lay in bed, discussing everything and everyone we had met the night before. But this day was different.
Evolving Love Retreat
Friday 18th Sept - Sunday 20th Sept 2026
Yass Valley, New South Wales, Australia
In 2026, the Evolving Love Retreat opens to all.
Whether you’re in a couple, throuple, or exploring solo, this retreat is for you.
