Am I Their Girlfriend?

Love & Possession

As we watched our kids play together in the backyard she curiously asked me,

“What is the point of dating someone if it cannot go anywhere?”

“Does desire and connection always need to be goal oriented?” I gently replied. 

“I don’t know. Perhaps not.” She mused, sipping her tea. I clocked the slight smile that was now spreading across her face. I knew that she had a million questions for me but she didn’t want to pry. 

“If you have a lover, do they call you their girlfriend? Do you meet their parents? What if they want to see you every other weekend? Are you allowed to fall in love? I imagine that is probably off limits? But like…how do you stop yourself from falling in love? It is just something that happens right, like you can’t control love?” She took a breath and continued. “I can barely find the time to have a shower let alone be having another relationship.. but it actually does sound quite nice. It must be exciting.. We barely have sex anymore. Things feel a bit flat in that area since having the kids.” 

She couldn’t help herself now. The cogs of her mind were spinning out of control. I could see the intrigue and confusion across her face. She wanted to know everything, yet still wanted to stand strong in her belief that it wasn’t something that she might also want for herself. 

I took a breath and smiled. These were all questions that I had been asked before many times. Especially from other mothers.