3 Years of Evolving Love Project

While I was writing this piece, I questioned whether or not I should share it. By flying a flag for open and honest expression, I know that there might be some people who believe that my sharing is ‘indulgent’ or ‘attention seeking’. And yet I still choose to share. If I had bowed to these perceived fears, I may not have began writing at all.

In a time where many people are freely diagnosing those around them with narcissism, the pull to stay small is real. What if people think that my sharing is narcissistic?

The fear of what might happen if a person fully comes into their bloom can be a roadblock to flow and creativity. So with that in mind, I have decided to share this little reflection because I am proud of myself and Liam for the work that we have both put into this space and I don’t believe that I should shrink myself down or shy away from the many positives that ELP has brought to us and many others.

When we put ourselves out into the world more publicly, we expose ourselves to a range of criticisms, and while I know that some people might not connect with how and what I share, there are thousands who have found it helpful and eyeopening. And so I continue to share, for myself, and our growing audience.

Three years ago I started a private instagram page called Evolving Women Project. I didn’t have any plans as to what it was or might become, all I knew was that I had perspectives and stories living within me that were ready to be shared with the women in my day to day life. 

Evolving Women Project quickly became a space for expression and storytelling about expansive love, sexuality, motherhood, compersion, power dynamics, personal responsibility, balance and honouring the self in ways that may look radically different to the scripts that we have been spoon fed our whole lives. 

My first post on Evolving Women Project - March 17th 2021

I had never considered myself to be a writer, but the words were now flowing out of me at a rate that I could barely keep up with. As my inbox filled with messages of gratitude for speaking so honestly, I realised that my sharing about the ins and outs of navigating non-monogamy was an opportunity for people to take stock of where they are at in their relationships, wether they might want to practice non-monogamy or not. I realised that for many, my sharing had impact, not specifically due to the non-Monogamy, but because I was unafraid to challenge the script of what a woman, and a mother, should or could be. 

The conversations were not limited to being online, women began approaching me at social gatherings to share their own stories, and wanting to know more about mine. One woman said that she was fed up with ‘mumstagramers’ who were sharing picture perfect representations of their family lives and that my writings about my marriage were ‘wildly refreshing and real’. It wasn’t long until I felt the pull to create a space for these women to come together and share their experiences and perspectives, leaving the small talk at the door. And so in January, 2022, conversation nights were born. 

Conversation menus for the first Conversation Evening, January 10th 2022

In January 2022 I ran my first conversation circle and not long after I created Evolving Love Project, a public Substack to share more widely and publicly, followed by our growing podcast Evolving Love Podcast which is made possible by Liam who is the Producer, Editor, Videographer and my Co-Host. And last September, I hosted my first sold out, women’s retreat which was more special than I could have ever dreamed of it being. My next one is in May with another extraordinary group of women. I cannot wait. 

My first women’s Retreat in September 2023

Evolving Love Project might not have come to be if I didn’t have a husband who said, “Write. Express yourself. Be controversial. Shock people. Be who you are. Who cares? This is your one beautiful life. Be honest about who you are.” I still pinch myself everyday that I am married to a man who loves me with such depth and security. Evolving Love Project has always been a completely in-house project for Liam and I, due to our shared passion to create and build together. Whether we are up at 6am having a photo shoot in nature, laughing over a podcast that we are recording or giggling over which photos should accompany one of my articles, we do it with joy. It doesn’t feel like work - it is an energising source of happiness and play. 

The past year has been another expansion of vulnerability and confidence building as we have stepped out more into the public eye, appearing in The Sydney Morning Herald, The Project (Channel 10) on National Tv, and larger, more mainstream podcasts such as No Filter and others that are yet to be released.

At the offices of MamaMia before recording the No Filter Podcast

Being in a privileged position to be able to be out to families and friends about our relationship has made it possible for us to become more public in the hopes to help normalise alternative relationship structures on a broader scale. People often tell me that non-Monogamy is ‘new’ or ‘trending’. Non-Monogamy isn’t new... it has been around since the dawn of time, yet it is simply stepping out into the cultural forefront of the current relationship discourse due to more people being open about it. 

After three years of being radically honest and consistent with my writing, I am pinching myself that we are now having conversations on our podcast with thought leaders and authors that I have admired for so long, such as Dr Christopher Ryan, Jessica Fern, Dr Tyson Yunkaporta, Dr Joli Hamilton, Dr Marie Thouin, Molly Roden Winter, Meghan Bhatia and more. These are people who I deeply admire, and it feels surreal that these are now people who we know. 

Now, more than ever, I understand the power of being real and the joy in sharing who I am. I choose to keep on going even if there is a snide comment, or a jealousy that is intended to belittle and keep me down. The reality is that when you grow, people can feel challenged and confronted by it and try to keep you small. When this happens, I dig deeper, grow bigger and just keep on going. I’m at peace with people self selecting themselves in and out of my life. I am fully aware that I am not for everyone, and that is ok. 

If you are new to Evolving Love Project, Hi ! Welcome, I am so glad that you are here! If you have been here from the beginning, thank you for being on the journey and for supporting us if you have been able to. We are so grateful for every kind message, comment, podcast rating, subscriber support, share and hug. I will continue to share my writings with consistency every Wednesday and our podcast every Friday!

Check out the podcast if you have not already.

Stay tuned for more from us here at Evolving Love Project, the journey is continuing to unfold in new and exciting ways. 

Wishing you deep and expansive love,

Abbey (& Liam) xxx

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Photo taken of me by my husband Liam (26th March 2024)